"I'm Fine" And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

I'm fine. Everything is FINE.

“I’m fine.”

It rolls off the tongue so easily, doesn’t it?

We say it with a smile.

We say it when we’re falling apart.

We say it when we’re not fine—when we’re overwhelmed, exhausted, numb, or just barely holding it together.

For the longest time, “I’m fine” was my go-to line. It felt safer than saying, “I’m unraveling,” or “I’m drowning in responsibilities,” or “I can’t even remember the last time I took a deep breath that didn’t feel forced.” If I’m being honest? Sometimes I said “I’m fine” because I didn’t even know what I was feeling. I just knew I didn’t have the time, space, or energy to fall apart. Here’s the truth: Pretending to be fine doesn’t make you strong. It makes you tired.

Why We Say It Anyway

We say “I’m fine” because:

• We don’t want to be a burden.

• We’re scared of being vulnerable.

• We’ve been told that strength looks like silence.

• We think no one really wants to hear the real answer.

  
  

But we all know the moment when “I’m fine” becomes a mask we wear so often, we start to forget what our real face even looks like underneath.

So Let Me Ask You:

When was the last time you told the truth about how you were really doing? Not the polished version. Not the social media version. The real, messy, human version.

The version that says: “I’m tired.” “I’m grieving.” “I’m overwhelmed, but I’m trying.” “I’m holding it together with prayer, caffeine, and hope.”

There’s something sacred about telling the truth. Not to everyone—you don’t need to pour your heart out to the cashier at Target. But you do deserve to have a few people (or even one person) who can handle your truth without flinching.

Here's What I’ve Learned:

The moment you stop lying to yourself about how you’re doing, you create space to actually heal. You give your people permission to show up for you. You give yourself permission to take up space—not just when you’re thriving, but when you’re struggling too.

So, what do you say instead?

If “I’m fine” doesn’t cut it, try this:

• “It’s been a lot, but I’m managing.”

• “Today is hard.”

• “I’m not okay, but I’m not giving up.”

Because you can be honest and hopeful.You can be vulnerable and resilient.You can tell the truth and still be strong.

Final Word

This life? It’s not meant to be navigated in silence. Let’s stop pretending we’re fine just to keep the peace. Let’s start telling the truth—even if it’s awkward, even if it’s uncomfortable. Because someone out there is waiting for your honesty to feel less alone in theirs.